It's difficult as a parent of a teen to realize the impact that your children have on others. Adasha was a fun loving and very generous child. If she saw someone in need, she would try to help in any way that she could. She had several friends from school that were in Boys Town or Child Haven and she would worry constantly about their welfare.

After her death I received SO many letters and sweet comments about the way she had touched others. Her choir teacher and peers told me that if she wasn't at school, the choir class just wasn't the same because the minute she walked into the room, everyone was in a better mood and she made everyone laugh and participate to the fullest.

For at least a year after her death, people would call her phone number and when I would answer they would just sit on the phone and make no sound....like they really couldn't believe she wasn't there.

I have to admit that many times during that first year I would see something, watch a TV show, or movie and think "I can't wait to tell Adasha about that" and then reality would come crashing down on me....again.

It has been 2.5 years since she left us and I still can't manage to be in her room for very long without breaking down. She definitely brought life to our family and although not always positively, she would engage everyone in the family whenever possible.

She endured some tough times in her life and although I would give absolutely anything to see her face again, I'm so glad that she is safe and will never have anyone hurt her again. As a mom my greatest fear was for something to happen to her. I bubbled wrapped the kid and kept her in a closet to keep her from getting hurt but as much as worried and lectured, I couldn't control her teenage years. I always told her that she would get into something someday that I wouldn't be able to "fix". I had no idea that it would be such a tragic accident.

What breaks my heart is, in working with youth, I still hear about kids that are "car surfing". Her accident was SO widely publicized in Las Vegas; I just can't believe that kids would keep doing it. Adasha's stepfather, Tom, now works at University Medical Center and sees children come through the ER that have critical injuries from this stupid stunt....and yet it seems there is nothing we can do about it.

Adasha wanted to be a social worker or a lawyer. She would have been phenomenal at either one. She cared so much for people and wanted to help them....and she could argue with a wall

I have to admit that I could never visualize her as an adult....I don't know if that is normal for a parent or whether God was trying to prepare me for what was to come. For as long as I live, I will remember the phone call from the paramedics. They thought I already knew about the accident so they were rather abrupt and asked if she was allergic to anything. I was in shock and couldn't even think if she WAS allergic to anything after they told me she had been in an accident. There was a message on the answering machine from an adult about the accident that said she had fallen off a car. Naturally, I thought it was face first and that we were looking at road rash and maybe some serious dental reconstruction....never did I think that this could be fatal. I've heard stories of people parachuting out of airplanes where the parachute fails and they still live.

When I got to the hospital ER, the ER doctors (when they FINALLY came to talk to us) showed me her x-rays by holding them up to the light in the waiting room. I only remember one thing he said, "People die from this". I thought that was a rather fatalistic attitude considering she had just arrived by life flight. I still wouldn't let myself believe that this could be fatal. They put a shunt into her head because there was a great deal of swelling in her brain.

When she was finally transferred to the pediatric ICU, we were allowed to go into the room. Because there was no damage to her face, she looked O.K. for the exception of being hooked up to so many machines. Tom and I took turns being with her throughout the night. I had an amazing support group of friends and family that showed up to be with us in the waiting room. We were praying and crying and I think because there were so many of us that people thought we were a cult.

They told me the numbers to watch on the monitors and I watched them throughout the night. I wasn't allowed to sleep in the room so I rubbed her legs, talked to her, and watched the monitors. I cried and tried to accept the reality of the situation but I just couldn't. The next day was a blur but we were still by her side.

The next day the staff forced us to go home because they said no one was allowed in the room for rounds....or something to that effect. It was the first time we had been able to sleep in a few days and we were exhausted....although I couldn't stop crying, my body forced me to sleep. They called from the hospital and told us to return. By the time we got there, the doctors had disconnected her from the life support and my only child lie dead in the room.

I don't really know how I made it through the next few weeks. I disassociated from the situation and did what needed to be done. I had wonderful friends, Jodi and Brad, who held our hands and prayed for us and helped us make decisions that needed to be made.

We were already involved in a grief program at our church and it became a lifeline for us. It was difficult to discuss the pain but gave us an outlet to express our feelings.

The first year was hard because of the "firsts" that come with a death (i.e. the first holiday since their death, birthday, school starting, school dances etc.) which were all triggers for deep grief but I was still numb and my brain had not allowed me to accept the reality fully. The second year was much harder for me because the numbness wore off and I sometimes couldn't stop the flashbacks. Sometime during that year, I began to remember only the good and happy times. I was able to laugh and remember the idiosyncracies that were "Adasha".

She loved Nemo, Veggie Tales, rap music, pizza, pop tarts, and ice cream. She would wake up early and watch cartoons on Saturdays and when we awoke we would find her in the recliner with several different foods around her. She was skinny as a rail but loved food.

She loved to watch Trading Spaces with me. She got me hooked on Charmed which conflicts with my belief system but she loved the show and would beg me to watch it with her. I started watching The Gilmore Girls after she passed away and I know it would have been a favorite too.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and wonder if I could have changed anything about that day. I know things happen for a reason and I believe that somehow she knew she wasn't going to be here much longer. She had called me that day and I was in class. I walked out into the hallway to talk to her but I was in a hurry. She was asking to go to a talent show rehearsal at her school that night and we usually didn't allow her out on school nights. I told her to ask Tom and if it was O.K. with him, it was O.K. with me.

There was just something different in her voice when she said "I love you" (which we always said before hanging up). For the life of me I can't remember whether I said it back because I was in a hurry but as I hung the phone up I remember thinking that her voice was different and the words sounded so sincere and not just a thing to say before we hung up. Those were my last words to my baby.

Tom has felt guilt over allowing her to go that night. I feel like if it hadn't been that night that it would have been another night. I may never understand why it happened but I know she's in heaven and I can't wait to see her smiling face again.

Thank you for taking the time to read about her legacy and please don't forget about my baby. Tell all the children that are in your circle of influence that car surfing is DANGEROUS and it can change the lives of many in the blink of an eye.